THe Perfectionist (Part 2: 7 Types of Inner critic)

Hello Friendly Readers,

As promised this is the first of a 7 part series talking about the 7 types of inner critics.

If you’d like to start at the beginning, go back to 7 Types of Inner Critic Part 1.

The inner critic voice for this week is THE PERFECTIONIST! I literally just rewrote the last sentence 10xs. My inner perfectionist is not happy with my introduction of them. It says, “Do better, rewrite that, I deserve the utmost respect and the highest of recognition.” The perfectionist is never satisfied. Oh well, the inner critic voice for this week is the perfectionist, in all it’s glory.

1. Perfectionist

The Perfectionist is your inner high achiever who sets generally unattainable goals for yourself, resulting in frustration and dissatisfaction. This inner critic constantly pushes you to be the best at everything you do, often leading to disappointment, frustration, anxiety, and burnout. ~Kamini Wood

Phrases your Perfectionist might use:

• “Do More.”

• “Try harder.”

• “You’ll never do enough.”

• “You’ll never do it right.”

• “Do everything yourself and do it perfect.”

• “Stop making so many mistakes.”

These are just examples, I’m sure your perfectionist voice has different ways of saying something similar.

My perfectionist likes to compare my accomplishments, body, and overall well-being to other people. It finds people who appear to have it all, who are living lives that I imagine living, and that have achieved more than me. The perfectionist uses these examples of others to talk down to me.

It has a very convincing argument, but it’s the same story every time.

My inner perfectionist believes there is a reality where I am the best, where I am perfect, where I have no flaws, and I make no mistakes. This is an unattainable reality.

This is how I know it’s my inner perfectionist running the show and not my inner knowing. The feelings attached to perfection are frantic, scattered, hopeless, unworthy, and immobilizing. In the past when I’ve let perfection run the show I stop creating. I stop moving forward. I stop making mistakes, because I stop risking being wrong or not doing it right.

I am a rebellious person by nature so I’ve spent a lot of time fighting this voice. But now, now that I’m approaching 40 years old, I’m done. That doesn't mean this voice is gone or will ever go away, but it does mean it doesn’t run my life anymore.

I’ve made space for the inner perfectionist to comment all it wants, but it doesn't dictate my life choices.

If you’re living with crippling self-doubt and the inner perfectionist is running your life, get help. There are so many resources. Find a cognitive behavioral therapist or another type of psychology that works for you. There are life coaches out there too, here’s one I found while writing this article Kamini Wood.

In a world that can make you feel inadequate, less than, and like you don’t matter. I’m here to say, “You exist, therefore you matter. It doesn’t have to be so hard. Asking for help is a sign of inner strength. You got this!”

Love Always,

Danielle Mallett